Monday, March 28, 2011

"Lost and Found"

Most of my posts have been fun, sweet, funny and light hearted... 
Not today.... 
Today is more serious

Two years ago TODAY I lost a piece of my heart
and a piece of me DIED
I lost not only my friend but my BIG brother

Two years ago, My brother tragically died.
I say tragically because
He wasn't sick
We didn't know this was coming
He committed suicide.
I had a hard time with the reality of suicide for A LONG TIME
I had never come face to face with the reality of loosing someone close to me until that day.
Which I remember vividly.
I remember the call,
the words said
the pain
the hurt
the anger
the sadness
I couldn't fathom that he could leave us here like that,
That his decision would leave his two beautiful little girls with NO FATHER
That OUR MOM and DAD would have to deal with the pain of loosing a child 
That I wouldn't have him to talk to when I needed him
That his WIFE was now left to be a WIDOW.
How could this be?

TWO years have passed, and although the pain of loosing him still grips me and my family as if it were yesterday,
 we are going on with FAITH that he walks with our Maker,
 KNOWLEDGE that we will hold him again someday and that he is FREE from his PAIN
and with COURAGE to move forward holding up his legacy
His Legacy of his two beautiful baby girls:

We have worked on healing and remembering the good man he was, 
he was kind
 and sweet
and caring
and generous
and very funny
He was a proud Irish man :-)
and an amazing father
he would give the world to his two baby girls if he could
He would go out of his way to make someone happy


My goal with this post is to not only remember my brother on this day but to help prevent suicide,
if we could all just understand the warning signs
give a stranger a smile, a kind word, a helping hand
Let someone know that you love them and they are needed
for more information please visit:
Lets make a difference and help prevent just one person from feeling like there is no other way!

I love you for forever Thomas Hunter Ballard
July 29, 1983- March 28, 2009

(the only picture I have of him with my Noah)

"lost and found" by Greg Olson
I like to think this is Hunter with Christ

The Things We Find Inside>


  1. I am sorry... I know how you feel. I lost my brother-in-law a little over one year ago. He committed suicide also and his name was Thomas. It feels like yesterday... And I still have one question.... "Why?"

  2. Lots of love to you and the family!!!

  3. So sorry..

    New follower via blog hop. Hope you will follow me too @

  4. I think big brothers hold a special place in little girl hearts. So sorry for your sorrow.
    I love the way Greg Olsen portrays life and the Savior.
    Thank you for sharing this special part of your life.

    I am following, hope you can stop by for a visit!

    Thanks, Becky Jane
    Raising kids can be a lot like weeding the rose bed...well worth it, but...OUCH!

  5. Well done my sweet daughter. We all miss him but he lives on in all of us and beyond this life. He was and always will be a great son. Love, Dad

  6. I am so sorry. I couldn't even imagine. I know you will see him again and what an amazing reunion that will be. He is your angle he walks with our maker and he is sending down your future children. Sending love your way.

  7. What a beautiful post, you are a wonderful sister. I had Sammy in my primary class last Sunday and she is such a sweet little girl. I still remeber that day and can't believe that it's been 2 years, it feels like forever ago in some ways. I love you and miss you!

  8. Thank you for sharing your (and your brother's story). I'm so sorry for your loss.

    My best friend's brother committed suicide when we were in high school. I will never forget that day. I commend you for addressing this issue!

  9. What a brave and vulnerable thing to post. Im so grateful to see so many campaigns in the media to stop bulling and be more aware of other people and what they are going through.
    Thank you for sharing this.

    visiting from SITS

  10. I'm so sorry for your loss...

    Your nieces are darling! Thank you for using your experience to raise awareness of suicide prevention.